The Long and Winding road
by LindseyFox
Summary: Elliot and Olivia meet in college.  Circumstances are not the same as they are now, does that change the outcome of their relationship?
1. Olivia and Jake

Olivia Benson was laughing, beer in hand as she checked her watch. She was meeting Jake in twenty minutes, if she was walking she had better start now.

"Hey guys, I hate to cut it short, but I need to go." she said, setting the half empty beer on the table. "Give me a call and we'll figure out something for next week."

The group of mainly girls waved and mumbled byes as she walked out the door. She tucked her hands into her coat pockets. It was late spring, but in New York the warm weather hadn't quite kicked in, especially not during night. There were two weeks left until finals, which meant that the end of her junior year was nearing. Knowing that she only had one year left was the only thing that was getting her through right now. She waved at Jake as he pulled his yellow '73 Corvette Stingray into the parking space. What was up with professors and having sports cars? She quickly forgot that thought as it was replaced by knowing that tonight she was sitting next to someone who owned a sports car. He kissed her as she began to pull on her seat belt. The seat being totally forgotten, she flung her arms around his neck and began to kiss him roughly. His hands drift to her breasts.

"This makes me feel like a teenager." Olivia said to him as she came up for air. "Can't we do this somewhere else?"

"Well my apartment's in the North Central Park area, so that's out of the question."

"Well my dorm is just a block away."

"I can't sleep with a student in her dorm."

"I'm not your student."

"But think of the rumors."

"Since when do we care about rumors." she said, sliding her hand up his leg as he moaned.

"You're right." he said, putting the car in drive and speeding down the street. They ran up the walk to the dorms and stealthily got to her room. He grabbed her and pulled her into a passionate kiss as they fell onto her bed.

"Hold on." Olivia breathed quietly. "Let me put some money outside."

"What are you talking about?" asked the half-naked Jake lying next to her.

"It's the deal that my roommate and I have." she said, shoving ten bucks in an envelope and taping it to the door. "We have to leave enough money for the other one to be able and go drink or do something for a few hours if we have a guy over." he started laughing. "Not only does that get rid of her, but it gives her something to do at the same time."

"I don't think I'll ever understand women." he said, pulling her into him. "Especially, college women."

"And I'll never understand professors who sleep with their students." she teased.

"I don't do this often." he said slightly offended.

"That's what they all say." she said, wasting no time in pulling of his pants. "Now shut up and fuck me."

"Such language." he said, kissing her neck.

"Well, making love doesn't seem to properly describe our relationship."

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked, she could feel the mood slipping away from them.

"Nothing, don't worry about it." she said, lowering herself to his member. He pushed her away as we sat up.

"Olivia, what do you mean?"

"Jake, I simply meant that a student and a professor are rarely together for any reason other than sex. That's all I meant."

"Is that what I am to you?" he asked, defensively.

"No, of course not; I just didn't want to get my hopes up." she said with a sigh. What kind of man worried about this sort of thing when he's about to get laid? "Jake, I think the only men I've "dated" while in college were professors and none of them really cared about me, they just wanted the hot sex from the young college chick."

"And since when am I like all other professors?" he said, leaning in to her. He was obviously near forgiving her.

"You aren't." she said seductively, pushing him onto the bed, tracing his chest down to his member and stroking him gently as he moaned loudly. She took him into her mouth and tactfully used her tongue, making him nearly scream.

"Damn Olivia." he whispered. "Come up here." she obediently pulled herself up eye level with him as he pushed her onto her back. "I wouldn't want to feel like I'm taking advantage getting all the fun." Olivia was not used to being treated equally in bed, this made her feel like a princess. She giggled, but did not complain. He forcefully began to lick at her breast, making swirling motions with his tongue. She had to stop herself from screaming at the sudden intensity. After spending several exhilarating minutes at her breast, he began to slowly move down her body, sending chills up her spine. He quickly dove at her clit with his tongue. She couldn't hold it in anymore, she screamed as she pulled a pillow over her head to stifle the noise. He pulled himself help, a pleased look on his face. He slowly began to slide into her as she stopped him.

"I like to be on top." she said, grinning mischievously. She flipped herself onto his chest as he slid into her. Almost exactly two hours from the moment they reached the apartment they both began to scream the other's name.

"Olivia, that may have just been the best I've ever had." he said, breathing heavily, sweat dripping down his face.

"I was just getting ready to say the same to you." she smiled at him as someone began to pound at the door.

"Olivia. It's been two hours, let me in."

"One second." she said, pulling on pajamas.

"Shit." Jake muttered as he pulled on his pants and shirt.

"Don't worry, she won't tell anyone." Olivia said, opening the door as Jake hurried out. Her roommate, Rachel, walked in silently after waving goodbye to Jake.

"You're fucking Professor Hayes?" she whispered, shutting the door behind her.

"Yea; I am." Olivia said, sitting on her bed.

"He is so hot, every girl in this college wants him." she said, throwing her purse next to the bed. "How are you so lucky?"

"I dunno." Olivia shrugged. "He was at a party my mom held a few months ago, and we hit it off."

"You are so lucky that your mom knows everyone here. You get first dibs on all the hot professors."

"I suppose." Olivia said, switching off her bedside lamp. "Good night." she said, hoping that Rachel would get the point. Olivia didn't go to sleep, though, she sat wide awake wondering what was really going on between her and Jake. She didn't want a relationship, but she couldn't tell him that after their earlier conversation. Maybe she should find someone less clingy--- and soon, she thought as she drifted to sleep.


	2. Elliot and Kathy

"See Kath, I told you that this would work out." Elliot said as they walked towards his dorm. "It's been almost two years and still going strong."

"Yea, I guess I should have trusted you." Kathy said, distantly.

"What'cha thinkin' about?" he asked, taking her hand in his.

"Nothing."

"Kath, come on, talk to me." he stopped and took both her hands. "You can tell me anything."

"Elliot." she said, pausing, obviously thinking about whether or not to disclose her secret. "We're gonna have a baby."

"What?" he asked, slightly taken aback.

"I knew you'd react like this." she pulled her hands from his and started walking quickly towards the dorms.

"No, no." he cried, running after her. "Kath, that's great. That's amazing." he said, picking her up and swinging her around. "We're gonna be parents."

"You're not mad?" she asked as he set her down.

"Why would I be mad?" he asked, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the dorms. "I have always imagined us having a baby together and now we will. I love you." he said, kissing her softly.

"I love you too El." she said as he opened the door to his room. "Well, its late, I had better start back." she said grabbing her purse and jacket off of his bed.

"I'm going to miss you so much." he said, hugging her. "And you too." he said, placing his hand on her stomach and smiling. And like that she was gone. Their weekend had been short but sweet as usual and he was sad to see her go already. He simply lay on his bed and stare up at the ceiling with a huge grin on his face: he was going to be a father.

"Hey man." said his roommate, Robert coming in and throwing a football on his bed. "You okay?"

"Definitely." he said without moving from his position.

"Kathy was in town wasn't she?"

"Yea." he said, still dreamily.

"And you got laid?"

"Not exactly."

"She gave you a blow job?"

"No man." Elliot said, exasperated. "Is that all you ever think about?"

Robert rolled his eyes. "That's not all I think about, but a guy with that look on his face had to have gotten some, somehow."

"Kathy's pregnant." Elliot said, sick of waiting for him to guess.

"No way." he said, sitting on his own bed. "Is she getting an abortion?"

"No." Elliot said appalled, the thought never even occurring to him. "We're excited. We're going to keep it. And anyways, it's against our religion."

"But pre-marital sex isn't?"

"Touché." Elliot said, privately cursing himself for his own stupidity.

"Well, congratulations, I guess man."

"Yea." Elliot said almost inaudibly. He was so excited about the baby, but now he wasn't certain. He had always expected the birth of his first child to be a joyous occasion, but with everyone so disappointed would anyone even care? Now he was scared, and there was no turning back time.


	3. Just Sex

"I dunno; I mean, I am by no means in love, but how do you tell that to a thirty something man who thinks you're "the one"?" Olivia asked Rachel. She had not given up on the Jake issue since the night nearly a week ago. They were walking to their literature class, each toting a large anthology.

"I don't know what to tell you Liv; I mean, sure he's attractive and apparently good in bed or you would have dumped him by now." She smirked as Olivia blushed. "But if you don't love him, then that is so not fair to either of you, but especially not him, since he thinks you're "the one"." She said, holding the door open for Olivia.

"I mean seriously, what kind of thirty year old, college professor thinks that he is in love with one of his students." She said throwing her hands up. "I would never, ever expect a professor to love me; I know it is all about the sex, and I accept that."

"Did you ever think that maybe you're his first?" Rachel asked as they sat down in the back of the room.

"Impossible; what kind of thirty year old man is still a virgin?" she asked, her voice dropping to a whisper when people began to filter into the classroom. "He is so good and he always talks about the women he's slept with--- oh my god, he's a virgin." she said dropping her head into her hands. "What kind of a pathetic guy falls in love with the first girl he sleeps with? Now I really need to get out of this relationship; if I thought he was clingy before now he's a hundred times worse."

"You can be a massive bitch sometimes, you know that?" Rachel asked, but she couldn't hide her smile.

"Okay people, let's take out your books and turn to page 1,596." their professor said, walking into the classroom.

"I know." Olivia said, not a hint of remorse in her voice. "But sometimes that's what it takes."

"Oh well, maybe after you rip his heart out, he'll come crawling to your hot roommate who is a convenient shoulder to cry on."

"You wish." Olivia muttered as they both stifled a laugh. They sat through the class, making small comments to each other here and there to pass the time, as the professor analyzed "Paradise Lost". An hour and twenty minutes later, they were packing up their bags and heading towards the door.

"So what are you doing this evening?"

"I think I'm going to head out to Queens and visit my parents; it's been a while since I've been home."

"Sounds good; tell Professor Benson I say hi."

"I will." Olivia said, turning down the sidewalk leading to student parking. "Have a good night; don't cause too much trouble." Rachel simply waved and smiled. The ten or so mile drive to Queens took almost an half-hour in the rush hour traffic as Olivia sat in the Toyota Cressida that her parents had bought her for a graduation present and blared Livin' on Prayer by Bon Jovi. She finally pulled into the driveway of the split-level in Queens that she had grown up in. She turned down her radio and closed the sun-roof before she got out of the car.

"Olivia, we weren't expecting you!" her mom said from the front door.

"Sorry I didn't call first; I wanted to surprise you."

"It's a wonderful surprise. Come in!"

"How's everything going with you and dad?"

"Great, great." she mumbled, walking towards the kitchen. "What about you, how are classes going with the quarter winding down?"

"Good, I think. Hard to tell sometimes."

"I know it is." she said, pulling a frozen lasagna from the freezer. "How about social life? Any love interests?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "No mom. You know me, all work and no play." Of course she didn't tell her mother about her life style, what kind of young adult does?

"And what about Rachel?"

"She's doing fine, she wanted me to tell you 'hi'."

"Aww… isn't she sweet." she said, smiling. "Well, tell her 'hi' back. Your father should be home any minute." she said, looking at the clock on the wall.

"Where's my Livy?" he called from the front door, right on cue.

"Hey dad." she said, standing to give him a hug. "How are you?" she asked, stepping away to sit back down.

"I'm good, I'm good." he said, grabbing a beer from the fridge and kissing her mother on the forehead before sitting next to her. He ran through the same list of questions her mother had, which made Olivia chuckle, and then flipped on the television and began to watch the news. She sat and watched him shake his head at the awful things happening around New York. He had been so much to her as a child; she didn't know where she'd be without him. This man who had stepped in after her biological father left her and mother shortly after her birth. He cared so much for her mother, and he gave her faith that it was all going to be alright. By the time Olivia was one they were married, and he was the only father she had ever known. She didn't even want to know who her biological father was, the one who had left her, she didn't care. All she needed to know was that John would always be there for her and mother.

"Dinner is ready." her mother shouted from the kitchen. Olivia looked at her father and smiled, he smiled back. She sat and ate dinner and talked about life with her mother, and the father that she had almost lost out on. She wondered where she would be right now, if John had not come into their lives. She quickly shook the thought from her head; she did not want thoughts like these to ruin a lovely dinner with her parents.

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	4. False Alarm

"You wanna go play some touch football before it gets too dark?" Robert asked, tossing the football between his hands.

"Nah, I'm waiting for Kathy to call."

"Man you are so whipped." he said as he opened the door to their dorm. "Okay, well you know where to find us if you change your mind." Elliot just waved in acknowledgment. He stared at the phone as if that was supposed to make it ring. She was late; this was not like Kathy at all. He picked up the phone and dialed her number. She had probably forgotten that it was Friday.

"Hello?" came Kathy's voice from the other side of the line.

"Kath?"

"Elliot?" she said. She sounded shocked. "What are you calling for?"

"Kath, it's Friday." he said, matter-of-factly.

"Oh my god, El. It completely slipped my mind." she said, but Elliot was not convinced.

"Kath, what's going on?"

"El, we need to talk."

"Those words never lead to anything good." he said, sadly as he sat on his bed.

"I love you." she said quietly. "But I can't do this whole long distance thing. I've met someone else and---"

"What about the baby; _our_ baby?"

"Elliot, there was no baby, it was a false alarm." she said with a sigh. "But that whole issue got me thinking. And I don't think I'm ready to be a wife and a mother, and I can't imagine spending my whole life with one person."

"Kathy, I'm not ready for any of that either." he said, desperately.

"Elliot, I can't imagine spending my whole life with _you_." she said as they both got quiet. "El? El?" He still sat silently, trying not to cry and scream all at the same time. "Okay, well call me if you want to talk." she said, hanging up her phone. He sat without moving or speaking for at least an hour before deciding to go play touch football with the guys.

"El!" called Robert from across the yard as Elliot approached them. "What made you change your mind?"

"We talked." he said, simply as someone threw him the ball.

"You all right man?" Robert asked from behind him.

"Great." he said with no emotion.

"Okay." he said, skeptically. "Blue 42---Blue 42---Hike!" he shouted as the play began.

"I'm open, I'm open." some guy shouted from across the field. Elliot ran towards him as the quarterback threw the ball. He reached him as the ball hit his hands and pummeled him to the ground. "Dude, it's touch football!" the guy shouted as he jumped up.

"Elliot, are you sure you're okay?" asked Robert, coming up behind the two men.

"No." he said, quietly. "Listen, I'm just gonna go for a jog. Sorry man." he said turning to the man he had tackled.

"It's no problem." he said, honestly as he patted Elliot's back.

"I'll see you back at the dorm." Robert shouted as Elliot jogged away. His jog didn't take him very far. A short time later he stopped for a beer at the favorite hangout of Rutgers' student population. One beer turned into two, two beers into three, and two hours and five beers later he was nearly wasted as he talked to two girls from NYU.

"So what has you so down?" asked one of the girls as she sat next to him at the bar as the other went off to play pool.

"Nothing." he said, shakily.

"Now, come on, no guy drinks like that by himself, unless he is trying to drown his emotional sorrow."

"Smart chicks are so hot." he said ramblingly, setting down his empty beer bottle. "Could I have another one over here?" he shouted, waving his hand around.

"I think I'll take that as a compliment." she said, laughing a little at his drunken state. "So what's your name?"

"Elliot Stabler." he said, taking a drink from his new beer.

"Well, Elliot Stabler," she said, prying the beer from his hand. "Tell me, what has you so upset?"

"My girlfriend of," he thought about it for a long time and finally held up four fingers. "Five years, broke up with me today. And she was going to have my baby, but she was never really pregnant."

"That's so sad." said the girl, sympathetically.

"I know." he said, nodding his head.

"Listen, you seem like you need some fun." she said, taking his hand and pulling out a pen. "Here's an address, date, and time." she said, writing furiously on his hand. "There is going to be a party and you should come." she said, standing up before turning back to him. "Do you need help getting home?"

"No." he said as he began to fall off the stool.

"Well, how about I just get you a cab and make sure you get home safely, for my own sake?"

"Okay." he said, obviously not really knowing what was going on.

"Where do you live?"

"Rutgers."

"So you live on campus? What dorm?" she said as a taxi pulled up. He simply shrugged. She sighed, why did she always have to be the nice one? She nonchalantly reached into his pocket and pulled out his ID. He didn't even notice. She looked the ID over and found his hall and dorm number. She repeated the address to the driver as he made the short trip to the residence halls. "Come on Elliot." she said, pulling him to his feet and guiding him up the steps to his room.

"Oh my god." said the man who opened the door. "I was starting to get worried. It's not like El to get smashed. Thank you, Miss…"

"Olivia." she said, shaking his hand. "Olivia Benson."

"Well, thanks he'd appreciate it if he were coherent. I'll let him know you said bye."

"He won't even remember me in the morning, actually I don't think he even knows my name." she said with a shrug. "But you're welcome, Robert."

"How'd you---?"

"It was on your door."

"Oh right. Well, thanks for the help. Like I said, he's not the one who is usually out getting trashed."

"Well, he seems like he had a hard day."

"I don't know the whole story yet, but I'm guessing he did." he said as they stood in silence for a few minutes.

"Well, I need to get back and study for finals. See ya later."

"Yea, bye Olivia."

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	5. After the Bar

"What in the hell happened last night?" Elliot said groggily as he squinted his eyes at the sunlight. He was hungover, but he had no reason why.

"I dunno, you tell me." Robert said, turning down his boom box. "Only thing I know is that some gorgeous woman brought you home." Elliot slowly turned his hand over and read the now slightly blurred writing. "She invited me to a party." he said reading the date, time and place on his hand. "What was her name?" he asked, trying to remember if she even told him.

"Olivia; Olivia Benson." Robert said, looking at the writing on Elliot's hand. "You gonna go?"

"I guess so, if not for any other reason than to tell Miss Benson thanks." he said with a shrug. "I can't believe I did that; I hate being that freakin' wasted."

"What happened?" Robert asked and then to clarify added. "Why did you get so wasted last night?"

"Kathy dumped me."

"With a baby on the way?"

"It was a false alarm." Elliot said, sadly as he remembered the events of yesterday.

"I'm sorry man. That's okay, things happen for a reason. I'm sure this party tonight will take your mind off of that shit."

"I hope so." Elliot said, staring at his hand.

------------------------------------------------

"What happened to you last night?" Rachel asked as Olivia walked into the dorm from her not-so-morning jog.

"Ugh. Don't ask." she said, plopping herself onto her bed.

"I already did."

"That guy I was talking to was totally smashed so I took him home." she said, wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead. "After I invited him to the party tonight. He seemed like he'd be a nice guy if he weren't drunk."

"And how are you expecting him to be at a party?"

"He really didn't drink much and he was totally smashed. I could tell that he doesn't drink often."

"Whatever you say." Rachel said, busying herself with her literature anthology. "So is he your rebound?"

"I don't need a rebound. I'm the one doing the dumping." Olivia said, pushing open her closet door. "He just seemed like he needed a friend. What should I wear tonight?" she began to flip through the never ending line of reds, blacks, and other random colors.

"Wear that red dress you look so hot in. That will put any rebound guy in the bag."

"He's not a rebound guy." Olivia said, irritated.

"Come on Olivia, I know and you know that you are going to try to sleep with him, despite what you may say."

"That is so not true." she said, pausing as she laughed. "I never sleep with a guy on a first date."

"So you are going to try to sleep with him?"

"Maybe sometime. I dunno." she said with a shrug. "He wasn't completely unfortunate looking."

"Which is code for: he's so hot that if he wasn't so drunk yesterday I would have fucked his brains out."

"You know me too well." Olivia said blushing profusely as she pulled a purple dress out of her closet. This ought to work, she thought to herself as she looked over the dress that had spaghetti straps and accented her cleavage. She knew as well as Rachel did that she would be hooking up tonight.

"So when are you going to tell Jake that it's over?"

"I was thinking that I just wouldn't." Olivia said simply as she pulled on a lilac bra. "I mean, he'll figure it out when I don't call him, right?"

"That's awful." Rachel said, looking up from her anthology from the first time. "You can sometimes be the biggest bitch in the world."

"I know." Olivia said not at all affected by being called a bitch. "I mean come on if I was a guy, it'd be different, he just wouldn't call and that'd be okay."

"Good point." Rachel said, throwing her book down. "You did only go on like what, one date?"

"Pretty much. Zip me?" she asked, walking towards Rachel.

"So how much longer until this party starts?" Rachel asked, beginning to look through her own closet. Olivia looked at her clock and realized that it was already three.

"A little less than two hours." she said, grabbing a brush and curling iron. "I'm gonna go do my hair." she said heading out the door. She wondered, as she walked to the bathroom, if Elliot would actually show.


	6. Getting to Know You

"Thanks for coming with me." Elliot said as they approached the NYU campus. "It's not like I'll know anyone here."

"Except Olivia."

"Who I won't even recognize." Elliot said simply. "You better point her out to me when we get there."

"Oh I will."

"And don't you dare point me to someone else and say it's her or I will kill you."

"Where's the fun in that?"

"Haha." Elliot said, reading the address on his hand. "Turn left up here. That's it." He said pointing to a large frat house. Robert stopped the car and the two men got out.

"Hey El." Robert shouted across the car.

"What?"

"Do us all a favor and don't get smashed tonight."

"Shut up, asshole." Elliot said as he crossed the street. "This is kinda weird. Maybe we shouldn't have come."

"We drive all the way up to NYU battling weekend traffic and you decide now it's a bad idea?" Robert said, throwing up his hands. "Too bad, you're going in now."

"It's just that this feels so much like a blind date, and that's not my scene."

"It's not a blind date. It's a party." Robert said, pounding on the door of the frat house. "You guys will be surrounded by a million people and when you want to leave, you leave." Elliot nodded his head as though trying to convince himself of this also. "I know that you haven't dated since high school, but try it, you may just like it."

"Hey guys, welcome to the party of the century!" said the man opening the door. "Where you all joining us from?"

"Rutgers." they replied in unison.

"All the way from Jersey." he said, nodding his head. "Rockin'. Come on in." The party was already in full swing and it was only six. The stereo was blaring Paula Adbul, and there were more college students sitting around than Elliot could count. He looked over at Robert, who shook his head, Olivia was not here yet.

"There's a basement." Robert said helpfully. "Let's go check." he added as Elliot followed him down the stairs which led to different, even louder music. The basement was much bigger than one would have guessed. It contained a pool table and a hot tub as well as a large television and stereo.

"It looks like this is where the real party is." Elliot said with a chuckle as he scanned this floor, even though he had no clue what he was looking for. Robert tapped him and nodded his head in the direction of a gorgeous strawberry-blonde. Elliot gave him a look that said, _you better not be joking_, as he boldly approached her. When he got closer he realized just how tall she was, almost as tall as him with legs that could rival a super model's. She turned and looked in his direction as he was approaching.

"Elliot!" she said, setting her beer on a table and walking over to him. "Glad you could make it." she said, hugging him as he thought, _not the least bit uncomfortable_. "I can't believe you even recognized me."

"Well, I have to be honest with you, I had to have Robert point you out."

"Fair enough. Where is Robert?" she said as Elliot pointed in his direction. She motioned for him to come join them. "You guys want a beer?"

"Yes please." Elliot said as Robert gave him a look. "Just one."

"One for me too please." Robert said as Olivia began to walk away.

"Two beers coming up." she said as Elliot widened his eyes at Robert.

"You did not tell me she was drop dead gorgeous."

"She looks even better in that dress than she did Capri pants."

"I don't know if I'm ready for this."

"El, she probably doesn't even think it's a date. She probably just thinks that she invited you to a party so that you could have some fun." Robert said, rolling his eyes. "Don't overanalyze it."

"That's what I do." Elliot said matter-of-factly.

"Here you go guys." Olivia said, handing them each a beer. "And let me introduce you to my roommate. This is Rachel." she said pulling her up to the two men. "Rach, this is Elliot and Robert." They all shook hands and mumbled 'hi'.

"Listen, Olivia." Elliot said, pulling her away as Rachel and Robert began to talk about some movie they had just seen. "I'm so sorry about last night. I don't think I've ever been that drunk."

"It's okay. I'm just glad I was there to get you home safely."

"That was so awesome of you. I just can't believe I did that."

"We all do stupid stuff when we're hurt." Olivia said with a smile. He hadn't yet noticed how beautiful her smile was. This woman was just getting more and more gorgeous by the second. "So how long had you been together with your girlfriend? What was her name?"

"Kathy. We have been together since junior year of high school, so almost five years." he said with a sad smile. "I don't know what happened, just like that it was over." he sat silently for a few minutes. "That's enough about her though; I came here to forget about her for a while. What about you; where's your boyfriend?"

"My type doesn't attend these parties."

"So there is a boyfriend?"

"Not at the current moment. No." she said, laughing. "I kind of just dumped him. I just have yet to tell him."

"That's harsh." Elliot said, a large grin on his face. Olivia's heart melted.

"Well, you tell me what kind of thirty-year old man wants a relationship with a 21 year old college student?" she said, lowering her voice. "I sleep with professors, I don't date them. There's a huge difference."

"So you're one of those type." he said as she looked at him questioningly. "You know, the ones who sleep with profs to get their grades."

"Oh no." she said, slightly offended. "I only sleep with professors who I either don't have at all or don't have at the time. I earn my grades. I sleep with professors because they're experienced, that's all."

"And not at all shy about it." Elliot said, that huge grin sneaking onto his face again. Why did he have to keep doing that? Olivia wondered.

"Why should I be?"

"You're right, sex is nothing to be ashamed of, it's the early nineties right?"

"Exactly." Olivia said, picking up her beer and taking a large drink. "So Mr. Stabler, we know all the intimate details of each others personal lives, but I don't even know your major or your favorite color." Elliot laughed.

"Well my favorite color is blue. And my major is criminology with a psychology minor."

"Wow." Olivia said, leaning forward in her chair. She could not deny the fact that she wanted him. "So what are you going to do with that?"

"I hope be a cop."

"A very well educated cop."

"That's the goal." he said, setting down his empty cup. "So what about you?"

"Well I'm majoring in education."

"Now that takes balls." he said. "What are you going to teach?"

"I think kindergarten. At least lower primary school."

"You are braver than I."

"I dunno, dealing with murder and drugs everyday is not my idea of fun."

"Yea, but kids are so hard. I could never be a teacher." she laughed as she began to twirl a loose hair.

"Children are so easy, you just have to keep them entertained and they're happy."

"Easier said than done." They glanced over at Rachel and Robert who were still chatting animatedly.

"Aren't they so cute?" Rachel asked with a chuckle. "So what is this to Elliot?"

"I dunno. He wants it to be whatever she wants it to be." Robert said, shrugging. "He is still having a hard time realizing that he is single. He really thought that he was going to marry Kathy. So what does Olivia want this to be?"

"I dunno either; sometimes Olivia is hard to read. Everyone on our floor knows that she sleeps with professors, and she just dumped one."

"So Elliot is her rebound?"

"That's what I thought, but I'm not so certain. I think Elliot may have sparked something in her. She of course is putting on her tough façade but I think deep down she may actually like him." she said with a small smile. "Like I said, I've lived with her for three years and still have a hard time reading her sometimes." They both began to nod and sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Want to play some pool?" Robert asked as the pool table cleared.

"Absolutely." she said as he grabbed her hand and led her to the table.

"They look like they are getting along." Elliot said, motioning to Robert and Rachel.

"Yea." Olivia said, looking around. She wished that Elliot would make a move, but then again, she knew that he was getting over a long relationship.

"So what made you decide to go to NYU?" Elliot asked, the lull in conversation making him nervous.

"Free tuition."

"How'd you manage that?"

"My mom's a professor."

"I see." Elliot said. So we're moving onto families now, he thought. "What's she teach?"

"English."

"And what's your dad do?"

"Isn't this like second date conversation?" Olivia asked, laughing.

"So now we're on a date?" Elliot said, only half jokingly.

"I'd say it's slowly turning into one."

"Olivia, I'm really not ready for a relationship."

"And who said I was?" she said, scooting closer to him. "Elliot, I just think that you need some fun. Is there anything wrong with having fun?" she asked as Elliot sat silently.

"Olivia, friends don't go on dates." Despite what he was saying, Elliot was using all the energy he could muster to not jump her.

"Okay, so it's the terminology that's freaking you out?" she said, leaning back in her chair. "Let's just call it hanging out and then it doesn't sound so scary."

"So now you're mocking me." he said, smiling.

"And if I am?" she hand her chin cradled in her hand and was smiling innocently. _She is so beautiful_, he thought, _not hot but beautiful. _Before he knew what he was doing, his heart dominated his brain. With Whitney Houston playing in the background, he reached over and kissed her, soft but firm. She leaned into him and placed her hands in his hair. A few long, wonderful minutes later, they pulled apart and Olivia had a huge grin on her face. "I didn't know friends did that."

"I'm sorry; I don't know what came over me." Elliot immediately panicked.

"El, it's okay." Olivia said, placing a hand on his thigh. "Let's just put it out there--- I'm attracted to you. What about you?"

"I think you are so gorgeous and funny and sweet." he said, ramblingly.

"Well then it's settled." Olivia said, standing up and taking Elliot's hand. "Let's get out of here and get some coffee or something."

"What about Rob and Rachel?"

"I think they'll be fine without us." Olivia said, glancing at Rachel and Rob, who were making out in the corner. "No excuses now Stabler, let's go." she said, pulling him behind her. They walked down the street to the nearest coffee house and found a table.

"I'll have a cappuccino, Elliot?" Olivia placed her order and then turned toward Elliot.

"Same for me please." he said, pulling out his wallet and handing the waiter a ten dollar bill.

"Thank you; I'll have those right out." he said, taking the bill from Elliot's hand and walking away.

"Thank you." Olivia said, quietly.

"For what?"

"For paying." she said, smiling at him.

"Isn't that what the man is supposed to do on a first date?"

"So now this is a date?" she asked, utter surprise filling her voice.

"I think it's slowly turning into one." Elliot repeated her words from earlier as Olivia began to laugh. "I'm sorry I sort of freaked out at the party, it's just the only girl I've ever really been with was Kathy, it's just a little weird to be on a date with someone else."

"Understandable." Olivia said as the waiter set a cappuccino in front of her. "Thank you."

"If you need anything else, please let me know." the waiter said, hurrying away.

"Elliot, I was just asking for one date; it's not like we're dating, it's just one date."

"If I asked you on a second date would we be dating?"

"I like to think that the third times the charm."

"I'll keep that in mind." he said, taking a sip from his mug. "So would you like to go on another date?" Olivia simply chuckled.

"I think so." she said, sitting forward in the chair. "But we don't even know how this one is turning out."

"I think I have a pretty good idea." Elliot said, leaning dangerously close to her.

"Weren't you the one, who less than an hour ago was saying how you weren't ready to move on?"

"I'm starting to change my mind."

"I'm glad to know that I have that effect on you."

"So," Elliot said, clearing his throat and setting back again. "Why did you choke up so much when I asked about your family?"

"You don't give up, do you?" she asked, picking up her mug and holding it to her lips.

"Isn't that what will make a good cop?"

"I suppose." she said, quickly taking a sip and placing her mug on the table. "Well, I don't really know my real father, he left my mom right after I was born. I've never met him."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Why would I want to know a man who wanted nothing to do with me?" she asked, crossing her legs. "My mom met this great guy not long after and he's been my dad ever since."

"And what does he do?"

"He works in the corporate world." she said, pausing. "Some sort of number crunching job."

"Sounds exciting." Elliot said with just a hint of sarcasm.

"Truly." Olivia said, laughing. "I guess he enjoys it. I could never do that all day long."

"Same here. I have to be up and doing something all the time. Speaking of," he said, glancing at his watch. "It's getting late. How about I walk you home? You've already done the same for me once."

"Very funny." she said, laying a dollar bill on the table for a tip. "But that sounds good."

"So Ms. Benson," he asked as they began to walk down the sidewalk to her dorm. "Why did you help me the other night? I know I must have been a major jerk."

"Actually, you weren't the worst drunk man I've ever dealt with."

"That's comforting." he said, rolling his eyes. "For me, just the fact that I was drunk makes me a jerk."

"I've heard you don't do that often."

"Try never." he said with a sigh. "I think that's the first time I've ever been totally smashed, but you're avoiding my question. Why would you help some drunk guy that you barely know?"

She pondered for a minute, opened her mouth, shut it, and then pondered more. "I thought you looked like you would want help." she said, slowly, and then realizing that she made no sense, she continued. "You seemed like a nice guy, who probably was not used to being out drunk by himself; I figured that you would want help if you had known what you were doing. This is it." she said, turning up the sidewalk. "And you were pretty hot." They both began to laugh.

"Thanks. You aren't too bad yourself." he said, holding the door open for her. They trudged up the steps to her floor silently and as they reached the top they heard the distinct sound of bedsprings.

"I'll bet money that I know which room that is coming from." Olivia said, bitterly. "Great." she said, ripping the envelope off the door.

"What is that?" Elliot asked his eyes full of curiosity.

"It's what my roommate and I do when we have a guy in the room." she said ripping it open and pulling out a note and fifty. "Olivia, I owe you huge, here's a fifty to give me the whole night.--- Rach." she read from the paper. "Lovely." she muttered.

"You need a place to stay?" Elliot asked, snatching the note from her hands. "I have a feeling the other bed in my room is unoccupied for the night."

"That doesn't sound like a good idea," she said, crumpling up the note and tossing it in the trashcan. "But it sounds like my only option."

"I promise that I won't try to grope you." Elliot said, jokingly as they headed down the steps to his car.

"This may just be the dumbest thing I've ever done." Olivia said as she pulled down the sheets on Robert's bed.

"God, will you get over it. It's only one night. I'm not the giant creep you're making me out to be."

"I'm sorry, it's just that this seems so weird." she said, figuring out how to phrase her thoughts. "Like I should be sleeping with you, but that's not right either." she said, laughing at her own statement. "I dunno, this just may be the weirdest end to a first date ever. And I can't believe I just told you that."

"If you want to have sex, no one is stopping you." Elliot said, menacingly.

"I think that that falls under the no groping rule."

"Who ever said that there had to be groping involved in sex?"

"Now you're pushing it Stabler." she said, laughing loudly. "However, one must ask the same question of you that you asked of me earlier. Why did you help me out by inviting me back here?"

"You didn't seem like the sort who would take well to being homeless." he said, sarcastically. "Seriously? I dunno, it just seemed like the gentlemanly thing to do."

"You weren't just trying to get into my pants?"

"If I wanted to get into your pants, I would have by now."

"That's not cocky or anything."

"I'm just saying." he said, throwing up his hands.

"You better stop while you're ahead or there will be no second date." she said, mock threateningly. Elliot sat up and flipped on the lights. "What are you doing?" Olivia asked, shielding her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not really tired." he said, jumping out of his bed. Olivia hadn't noticed that he had gone to bed wearing only boxers. "I'm going to go to the snack machines downstairs and get something, can I bring you something or would you like to come?" he asked, invitingly.

"I'll go." she climbed out of Robert's bed and slipped on her flip flops. She was wearing an oversized shirt from Elliot and a pair of boxers. She was very conscious as they walked down the hall, that she had never worn a man's clothes overnight before. It was a strange feeling, especially since she barely knew Elliot. "It's kind of weird walking down the hall of a boy's dorm in the middle of the night." She whispered.

"You don't have to whisper." Elliot said, turning down the stairwell. "Everyone who lives on this floor is at the party that we just left, including the RA. And don't tell me that you've never snuck out of a guy's room at midnight before."

"I haven't." she said, truthfully. "Any guy I've ever slept with was either at my place or he didn't live in dorms. Usually, the latter." She muttered.

"So Miss Olivia has a thing for older guys." He said, and then realization hit him. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-one." She said, quickly. "You?"

"Twenty-three." He said, smiling. "I'm just your type."

"There's that cocky thing again." Olivia said as they both began to chuckle.

"Very funny." he said, sarcastically. "What do you want?"

"I don't care, get me anything."

"You want to share a sandwich and chips?"

"Why not." she said as Elliot pointed to a ham sandwich and she nodded. Elliot stuck the quarters into the machine and their food dropped. Olivia grabbed the sandwich and Elliot grabbed the chips as they headed back up to the room. "It is so quiet in a dorm with no people--- almost creepy." Olivia muttered as they approached the door.

"Seriously." Elliot said, unlocking the door and holding out his arm for her to go first. "Is there anything you like to watch on television?"

"Is there really anything on at one AM?"

"Good point." Elliot said, flipping on the radio instead. The soothing sounds of the Beach Boys resonated through the room.

"I love the Beach Boys." Olivia said, removing the tomato off her sandwich.

"You aren't going to eat that?" Elliot said, pointing at the tomato.

"I can't stand them." she said, shoving it towards him. "So El, you haven't mentioned much about your family, but you've been tormenting me endlessly about mine. What is up with your home life?"

"Oh I dunno, the usual stuff I guess."

"There's no such thing." Olivia said, taking a giant bite of her sandwich.

"I forgot to ask if you'd like something to drink." he said, walking over to the small fridge in the corner.

"I'll take whatever you have." she said, smirking. "But you're not getting out of answering my question." Elliot laughed as he handed Olivia a root beer.

"My father was a cop, sometimes he got a little rough with me. We rarely talk anymore and I spend my time off from school at friend's houses or renting an apartment just to avoid him. My mom stops in and visits sometimes, but she isn't doing well without me home, no one is there to take care of her and in a way it's kind of like she's just wasting away."

"That's awful." Olivia said, putting her hand on his. "I'm sorry that you grew up like that."

"It happens." he said a small smile appearing on his face. "I've always wanted to be a cop, but as I get older I just hope I am nothing like my dad. They say that sort of thing is genetic, ya know?"

"Elliot you will never be anything like that."

"You hardly know me." he said, pushing her hand away as he shoved the last of his sandwich into his mouth and walked over to his bed.

"I know you enough. Elliot, you know that being a cop is not what causes people to become abusive. You are too kind and caring, you are one of the nicest guys I've ever met and that's not going to change down the road." she said, sitting next to him and planting a soft kiss on his cheek. "Your father was probably violent all along. From everything I've heard about you, violence is not part of your personality."

"Why would my mom have married a guy who was violent in the first place?"

"You'd have to ask her that." she said, sliding under the covers and putting her arms around him. "My guess would be that he wasn't outwardly violent until after they were married and then she didn't know how to get out once he began." They sat in silence for a minute, not realizing or not mentioning, the intimacy of their position, of the conversation, or of the entire evening.

"I think I'm going to visit my parents tomorrow." he said, quietly. "Would you like to come?"

"Of course." she said, pulling the covers up higher. "Am I going as your girlfriend or just a friend?" But Elliot was silent. She looked over at his now sleeping form. She smiled and whispered, "Good night." Before allowing herself to sleep also.


	7. Meeting the Stablers

"Morning--- oh damn. Sorry." Robert said, pulling the door closed as he backed out of the room.

"Come on in, its fine." Elliot said, climbing over Olivia and pulling on a sweatshirt.

"Stabler, you dog." Robert cried as Elliot shushed him. "How was it; she looks like she'd be pretty kinky."

"Shit man, come on now. Nothing happened. She just stayed here because she had no where else to stay thanks to you and Rachel."

"Now that was good."

"I don't want to hear the details; I heard more than I wanted just walking up to the dorm." he said, grabbing the chip and sandwich wrappings from last night and putting them in the trash.

"So you didn't have sex, but she slept with you? Isn't that like pretty serious or something?"

"I can hear you, you know." Olivia said, groggily from Elliot's bed. "And no it's not serious, unless he wants it to be."

"That is to be decided later." Elliot said, flipping on the radio again.

"So I'm gonna take a shower and then we can head to your parents?" she asked, rolling off the bed onto her feet.

"My parents?"

"You said last night you wanted to go see your parents."

"I completely forgot." he said, rubbing his temple. "Let me think about it."

"Okay." she said, a warm smile spreading across her face. "Whatever you want." he smiled gratefully at her as he left to take a shower. "Where can I shower?"

"Women's bathroom is down the hall and to the left. There are showers in there." Elliot shouted over his shoulder.

"You guys really didn't sleep together?" Robert asked, hopefully as Olivia walked away.

"How shallow do you think I am?" Olivia asked as she stopped and looked at him.

"Does Elliot know about your past?"

"Some of it." she said, coyly.

"So he knows that you are seeing a professor on the side?"

"Why did you have to sleep with my roommate?"

"You're not answering the question." he said, getting more serious by the second.

"No he doesn't, and I'm not actually seeing the professor, much in the same way, I'm not really seeing Elliot."

"You stayed here last night." Robert said as if that explained everything.

"Because I had no where else to go!" she said, exasperated. "Elliot doesn't want a relationship, yet. I don't think that either of us know what we really want, but whatever it is we have right now is working for us right now." she said with a tone that said this was the end of the conversation. She turned and walked quickly to the bathroom wondering why she was being given the third-degree. She was the one who had wanted to take it further and Elliot was the one who kept resisting, although by the end of last night he was finally beginning to give in; she wasn't certain how much she really cared about him, but she was certain that this wasn't just another "professor". She showered quickly and threw on her clothes from last night before heading back to Elliot's dorm where Elliot and Robert were sitting silently.

"You ready?" Elliot said, jumping up from his bed.

"Can we stop at my dorm so I can get new clothes?"

"You look great in that."

"Elliot, I am not meeting your parents in this outfit." Elliot sighed, grabbing his keys and walking down the hall next to her.

"Women," he muttered as he grinned at her.

"I look like a slut." she said, attempting to justify her change of clothes.

"So are you saying that you dress like a slut to pick up men?"

"What college girl doesn't?" she asked as he held the door open for her.

"I'm sorry about Robert." he said, changing subjects quickly.

"You heard us?"

"I just assumed, I heard you talking, but I'm sure he made an ass of himself." Elliot said, starting the car and shifting it into gear. "He has just been a little protective since the whole Kathy thing. I guess it's good of him, but it is a pain. Don't let him get to you, he's not usually like that."

"Did he tell you---"

"He tried, but I told him I want to hear anything about your past from you." Elliot said, taking her hand. "I hope that with time you'll feel comfortable enough to tell me."

"How can you be so understanding after being hurt so badly?"

"I dunno, you bring it out in me I guess." he said, smiling. They sat in silence until they reached NYU campus. "Are you sure you want to go with me to my parents? I don't mind, I mean we haven't even been on one official date yet."

"I'd like to know what I'm getting into before I--- thank you--- get too involved." she said as he held the door for her and then started laughing.

"You can be a mystery sometimes." he said as she pulled him up the stairs for the second time in twenty-four hours.

"Isn't that what makes me fun?"

"I have yet to decide whether it's endearing or annoying."

"Thanks." she muttered as she unlocked the door. "I know you had a long night last night, but it's like noon, get up!" she shouted at Rachel as she grabbed some clothes and headed to the bathroom.

"Nice to see you too." she said, yawning. "Hey Elliot, how was your night last night?" she asked as he shrugged.

"Nothing special."

"You didn't sleep with her?"

"Define sleep with her."

"You know what I mean."

"We slept in the same bed but, no, sex was not involved."

"But we gave you such a good opportunity."

"Neither one of us was ready." he stated simply as Olivia appeared back in the doorway. "You look nice." he said as he studied her new outfit: black high waters, a white tank top, and a light blue cardigan sweater.

"Thanks. You ready?" he took her hand in response as they walked out the door. "See ya, Rach."

"Have fun."

"I'll drive." Olivia said, pulling her keys out of her purse. "I haven't seen my car all weekend, I kind of miss it." Elliot began laughing as Olivia looked up. "Oh shit."

"What?"

"Olivia?" Jake asked as he walked up to her. "Where have you been all weekend? I have been calling your dorm non-stop."

"Now is not the time." she said, attempting to walk by him as he stopped her. "Excuse me asshole."

"You never called." he said as this explained all. "We sleep together and then you never call."

"This is why I didn't call!" she shouted, not believing this was really happening. "What kind of thirty year old man doesn't understand how this works? I don't have feelings for you, and you weren't supposed to have feelings for me. Now I'm sorry, but I am on my way out of town excuse me." she said, grabbing Elliot and pulling him with her.

"Are you the new guy?" Jake asked, grabbing Elliot's other arm. "She's a whore and completely untrustworthy; she doesn't really---" he began as Elliot cut him short, slugging him across the face.

"Leave her the hell alone. I think she made her point." Elliot said, turning away and walking with Olivia. They walked to the car, an uncomfortable silence settling between them.

"Elliot?"

"I don't want to know."

"Let me explain."

"I told you, I don't want to know." he said, pulling the seatbelt over his shoulder.

"Listen to me." she said, grabbing his chin and turning his face to hers. "He meant nothing." Elliot exhaled slowly.

"What am I?"

"I don't know yet." she said, honestly.

"Who is he?"

"Some professor that I slept with." she said, leaning back in the leather seat. "I used to sleep with professors. Actually, the only people I've ever slept with are professors. It was always just sex, I accepted that, but he wanted more. I wasn't about that."

"So what's changed?" Elliot asked, his voice softening slightly.

"The person." she said, turning to look at him. "I am not proud of that part of my past, but I have to live with it."

"How do I know that I'm not just another one of them?" she laughed and nodded her head.

"I haven't slept with you yet."

"Very funny." he said, dryly.

"I'm serious." she said, sighing as she started the car. "Look, I care about you, a lot; I don't know why and I don't know how it happened, but it did. When we sleep together for the first time, I don't want it to be just sex. Do you understand what I mean?"

"I suppose." he said, looking at her willingly for the first time since entering the car. "I just wish that I meant enough for you to make love to me." They sat silently for a minute before Olivia quickly turned off the car and reached over him, kissing him long and hard. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in closer as she began to unbutton his shirt. "Liv." he said, breathlessly.

"What?" she said, sitting up, slightly irritated.

"We're getting ready to go to my parent's house; do you really want to look like you just had sex?" he asked as she started laughing. "Not to mention do you really want our first time together to be in a car?"

"You mean my hot ride? I dunno, that might be exciting, but I get your point." she said, laughing. "Listen, I'm sorry. I should have told you before you had the chance to find out from someone else." She moved back into her seat slowly.

"It's okay. I overreacted." he said, buttoning his shirt back up. "I knew you had a sex life before me, we even talked about it; I guess a part of me is just wondering how much of our relationship is about getting back at him, but I know you aren't like that." he laughed almost inaudibly. "It's hard for me to believe right now that we've only known each other for a few days. I feel like not only have we known each other for months, but we've been dating for months."

"I know." Olivia muttered as she pulled out of the parking spot onto the empty road. "So where am I going?" she asked after a few minutes of silence.

"You need to head towards Queens."

"You're from Queens?"

"Yes?" he said, wondering why she sounded so confused.

"I'm from Queens." she said, reading his expression. "How could we go our whole lives without knowing each other?"

"It's a big borough, Liv." he said, shaking his head. "What part you from?"

"Sunnyside."

"You see, I'm from Glen Oaks." he said, laughing at her naivety. "We weren't that close to one another. Plus, I went to catholic school, so even if we had lived near one another, we could have gone our whole lives without meeting."

"Excellent point."

"I thought that you were some smart NYU student." he said, mischievously.

"Very funny." she said, despite the smile on her face. They sat silently for the rest of the ride, except Elliot's few muttered directions.

"I hope you're ready for this." Elliot said, holding open her door after they pulled into the drive.

"How bad can they be?" she asked, not quite sure what to expect or if she was prepared for whatever it was. Elliot merely chuckled at her statement and led her to the house. He rang the doorbell twice before she heard footsteps, moving quickly towards the door.

"Elliot." said his mom as she opened the door. Olivia wasn't sure if she was more surprised or just happy. "Who is this lovely young lady?"

"Mom, this is Olivia Benson." he said, pushing Olivia towards her. "Olivia this is my mother, Patricia Stabler."

"I've heard so much about you Mrs. Stabler."

"Please, call me Pat." she said, leading Olivia into the ranch-style home. "Your father isn't home yet." she said to Elliot. "He isn't supposed to be home until late."

"That may not be the worst thing in the world." Elliot muttered as his mother looked at him, but chose not to say anything.

"So Olivia, what brings you into my son's life?" Olivia smiled at the warmness of this lady, who had so obviously lived a closed, boring life.

"Well, Olivia and I met at a party, right after Kathy broke it off with me."

"When did you and Kathy break up?" she asked, confusion on her face. "She was such a sweet Catholic girl." she said to Olivia who simply nodded.

"She told me about a week ago that she wanted to see other people."

"I'm sorry dear, I know how much she meant to you." she said, realizing that Olivia was still in the room. "I'm sorry Olivia. It's just that he doesn't come around to chat with us much. So do you go to Rutgers also?"

"No ma'am."

"Pat." she said, automatically.

"No Pat," Olivia corrected herself as Elliot smiled next to her. "I go to NYU, my mom's a professor there, so free tuition."

"That must be nice." she said, quietly. "What do want to do with your life?"

"I'm majoring in Early childhood education."

"And are you a senior also?"

"Yes I am."

"Would you like something to eat? I doubt that Mr. Stabler will be home for quite sometime. Someone might as well eat dinner." she said as the phone began to ring. "Hold on one second dear. Hi honey. Yes, well that's fine, I'll put dinner in the fridge for you. Elliot dropped by to visit with his new girlfriend. Yes of course." she said, covering the receiver. "Your father would like to speak with you." Elliot sighed and took the phone reluctantly.

"Hello father. Yes, Kathy and I did break up." The man on the other end of the line was now speaking so loudly that Olivia could hear every word perfectly.

"I always knew that girl was a whore."

"She was not a whore, dad. We just wanted different things."

"What does that mean anyways, different things? How is college going? Are you still flunking out? Always knew you couldn't handle it."

"Dad, not right now."

"Oh right, you have a new bitch there to impress."

"Don't speak that way about her. You don't even know her."

"Well, then I guess I have nothing else to say. Just try not to embarrass me all the time. Quit worrying about all these no-good women and focus on school work."

"Dad, I get it. I'm a failure. How many different ways can you mock me in twenty-three years?"

"Don't talk to me that way, you arrogant little shit. Put your mother back on, I don't need to take this shit from you." the man said as Elliot shoved the phone back at his mother. Olivia was horrified, how could anyone treat their child like that? Elliot grabbed her arm and slowly pulled her towards the front door.

"Let's go." he said, quietly.

"Without saying goodbye to your mother?"

"I'll call her later." he muttered, sadly as he sat in the passenger seat. She let him have his space most of the way back to NYU campus. "Liv?"

"Yes?" she asked, tenderly.

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Elliot, I'm sorry you've had to live that." she said, pulling into her parking spot on campus. "El, nobody should have to deal with that abuse day in day out." she said, reaching over and hugging him tightly. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry you saw me so vulnerable."

"Elliot, you weren't vulnerable, you were abused. I don't think any less of you, if anything I love you more."

Elliot sat silently for a moment, not sure if he had heard her correctly. Olivia sat silently also wondering if she had blown it; she had uttered that awful word, a word she had never muttered to a man before, a word that she would take back in a heartbeat.

"Elliot, that's not--- I didn't mean--- the l-word--- don't freak out." she finally spit out. "I'm sorry it just slipped; I don't mean to push you, I know---"

"I love you too." he said, taking her hand in his. "Olivia, I don't know when I lost control, but I am completely in love with you, and I like it. This is the best I've felt in a long time."

"Elliot, you don't have to say that." she said, squeezing his hand. "I know that you still love Kathy; that's perfectly understandable, give it time."

"No Olivia. I don't have any feelings for Kathy anymore. I love you."

"You want to come up?" she asked, taking the keys out of the ignition and jingling them.

"Absolutely." he said as she pulled him from the car.

"You wanna stay?" she asked as they walked up to the door to her room. "Heaven knows that Rach deserves it."

"You mean as in overnight."

"That would be the implication." she said laughing. "It's not like we didn't spend last night together anyways. You want to order a pizza? I'm starved."

"Now you're talking'." he said as she dialed the number and ordered a large cheese pizza. "So when am I going to meet your parents?" he asked as she hung up the phone.

"Whenever you want." she said, setting on the floor next to him. "I have no skeletons."

"I wish I could say the same."

"My family is dysfunctional, just in a less obvious way." Olivia said, stretching her legs out. "Everyone's family is a little dysfunctional."

"That's what people who don't really understand say to those of us who do have dysfunctional families."

"True, I don't really know what it's like to have a dysfunctional family. My family is fucked up, but not quite dysfunctional." she said as they both laughed. A knock came at the door. Elliot jumped up quickly.

"Keep the change." he said as he handed the delivery man a twenty.

"Thanks; I would have gotten it." Olivia said as she grabbed a piece of pizza.

"I know, but isn't a rule that the guy pays for the first 3 dates? I wouldn't want to be rude." he said, a grin spreading across his face.

"If you can consider what we do dating."

"Wow that was a little harsh, don't you think?"

"Come on Stabler, what are we doing?" she said, seriously.

"I don't know." he said, honestly. "But we've made out and we've traded the L-word; I'd say we're dating or going steady, whatever they call it these days."

"Dating works for me." she said, finishing off her pizza slice. "Going steady just sounds so juvenile. I'd say we're a little more serious than b.s. high school relationships." Elliot sat silently as he reflected on his relationship with Kathy.

"How do you date someone for five years just for it to end, but you know someone for less than a week and you just know that this wasn't an accident, that they came into your life for a reason?" he asked, leaning against Olivia's bed. "It just makes no sense. I feel so much more connected to you in this week than I did to Kathy--- ever." Olivia sat and looked at him with those gorgeous brown eyes. "What?" he asked as she continued to gaze at him. "Say something." he said, wondering if he had said something wrong. She smiled mischievously at him before pushing him quickly to the floor and pressing her lips to his. He was caught off guard at her sudden motion, but quickly recuperated when she slid her tongue between his lips. A moan escaped his lips against his will; he realized that Olivia was about to be only the second person that he'd ever slept with.

"Hold on." she said, sitting up suddenly. "I need to leave---"

"Money?" Elliot asked, pulling her back into him. "Already taken care of."

"You really are self-assured." she said, kissing his neck tenderly.

"Right now, I'm not about to deny that." he grinned at her as he pulled her shirt off over her head. She quickly began to unbutton his shirt.

"Shut up." she said, breathlessly as she coaxed the shirt off of his shoulders. He lightly stroked her between the legs as she moaned and flinched at the sudden touch. She hastily began to unbutton her pants.

"About time." they heard Rachel mutter from outside as the envelope was removed from the door. They both stopped as they giggled. Olivia bent down and licked Elliot's lower lip before he slowly rolled her to the floor. He pulled her tongue into his mouth and slowly began to work his way to her neck. She giggled as he kissed her neck; she's obviously ticklish here, he thought as he continued to her breasts. He could feel her tense beneath him as she realized his destination. She moaned loudly as he took her breast into his mouth. He teased her with his tongue as her moaning grew increasingly louder. When she was about to burst he began to slowly slide inside of her. He began to thrust inside of her, slowly at first. They rocked together in perfect unison, like this was how it was meant to be all along. They came together as they both lay and breathed deeply.

"Elliot," she said, out of breath. "That was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced in my entire life." Elliot laughed quietly as he kissed her cheek.

"That's what it feels like when you really love the person." he said, rolling on his side and holding her hips. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Elliot." she said, standing up and grabbing a nightgown. "I never knew that it could feel like that. I never knew what it was supposed to feel like." she said, her voice reflecting the awe she felt.

"Can I come in now?" came Rachel's voice from outside.

"Yes." Olivia said, pulling on the gown quickly.

"Hey." she said, nonchalantly as she looked at Elliot.

"Hey Rach." they replied in unison.

"How has your evening been?" she asked, grinning from ear to ear.

"You're funny." Olivia said, tossing a root beer to Elliot as she pulled another one out for herself.

"So how was he?" Rachel asked loudly enough for Elliot to hear.

"You're not getting any info from me."

"That bad, huh?" Rachel asked as Elliot and Olivia both laughed.

"You're right, it was totally awful." Elliot said, clutching his side as he laughed.

"You two are no fun." Rachel said, sitting down and grabbing a wine cooler from the fridge.

"So we have to share every intimate detail of our love life to be fun?" Olivia said, teasingly.

"You used to share every romantic encounter you had with me." she said, almost hurt.

"Well, this is different." Olivia said, leaning over and kissing Elliot. "This time, it's not just sex."


	8. Summer Break

"I'm so glad that this week is finally over." Olivia said, taking Elliot's hand as they walked towards the NYU bookstore. It was exam week, and although Elliot's exams had been done by the beginning of the week Olivia had exams everyday.

"Well, once you sell these back, it will be entirely over." he said, holding up the bag of textbooks in his other hand. "So we're going to your parents' house tonight, huh?"

"If that's what you want to do."

"Sounds great to me. I mean, it just doesn't seem right that you've met my parents but I haven't met yours."

"My family really isn't that exciting Stabler."

"Good, I need a boring family sometimes." Olivia laughed as they approached the bookstore. The line for selling books was out the door.

"Dammit." she said, stopping at the back of the line. Elliot set the bag on the ground, expecting a long wait. Nearly an hour later, Olivia was walking away with one hundred dollars in hand. "You ready?" she asked, stuffing the cash in her pocket.

"I guess," he said, tucking in his shirt. "Do I look okay?" Olivia sighed as she kissed him softly on the cheek.

"You look fine." she said, taking his hand and pulling him to her car.

"I don't know why I'm so nervous about meeting your parents, I mean, you weren't freaking out this much when you met mine. I think it's just that your family sounds so great… I don't know how to act around a normal family."

"It's not as awful as it seems." she said with a smile. The drive to Queens was quick and sooner than Elliot was ready they were at Olivia's parent's house. As usual Olivia's mom met her on the porch, eagerly awaiting her daughter's visit.

"Well, well now who do we have here?"

"Mom this is Elliot Stabler." Olivia said, motioning to him.

"Elliot, so great to meet you." she said, taking his hand and ushering him to the front door. "I'm Serena Benson; you may of course call me Serena." Elliot looked uncertainly at Olivia as she smiled back reassuringly. "Now I hope that you like meatloaf and potatoes. John should be home anytime and then we can eat." Serena began flitting around the kitchen preparing the rest of the meal. Elliot stood awkwardly in the kitchen doorway and watched her with a smile on his face. He knew that he was going to like it here. "Sit, dear, sit." she said, motioning to the dining room table with three place settings.

"Where can I get another place setting, Serena?" he asked, sitting at the chair next to the lone setting.

"Now you will do no such thing." she said, grabbing a plate from the cabinet. "You are a guest here, and considering how much Olivia comes by, she is too. I'll get it for you." Olivia began laughing at Elliot's side.

"Any excuse to rub in the fact that I don't come out here much." she muttered to Elliot as the front door opened.

"Hello?" John called from the hallway. "Where's my---well now, who is this fine young man?" Elliot stood and held out his hand.

"Elliot Stabler, sir."

"Elliot, nice to meet you." he said, taking a seat at the place setting across from Elliot. "Well, I'm starved, what's for dinner?" he asked as Serena responded by placing a platter of meatloaf and potatoes on the table, while Olivia brought over four salads. "Looks great, dear." he said, kissing her on the cheek. Elliot smiled; his parents had never been affectionate with one another.

"Well everyone, dig in." Serena said, sitting down to her own plate. "So Elliot," she began after taking a few bites. "Are you in college?"

"Yes ma'am. I attend Rutgers."

"Jersey, huh? What are you studying?"

"Criminology with a psychology minor. After college I'll probably go to the police academy and become on of New York's Finest, or at least that's the plan."

"Good for you. Cops have it rough."

"So what brings you into our Olivia's life so suddenly? A week or so ago, she had no love interests and now we're meeting her boyfriend." John asked with a smirk that made Elliot laugh.

"I don't know. It just kind of happened." he said with a shrug. "You know how that sort of thing goes." Both of Olivia's parents began to laugh.

"You're right we do know how that goes." Serena said, setting her fork on her plate and taking John's hand under the table. Elliot caught Olivia's gaze as they both smiled warmly at one another. "So how much longer do you have left?"

"One year, same as Liv." he said, setting down his fork after finishing off his meal. "That was delicious Serena."

"Thank you, dear." Elliot sat drowning in his own thoughts for a moment. He couldn't believe how great her family was and how comfortable it felt to be here. It was this moment that he first realized he could see himself spending the rest of his life with Olivia Benson.

"Elliot?" Olivia asked, touching his thigh lightly.

"Sorry." he said, looking at her and smiling. "What were you saying?"

"My mother asked if we wanted to watch a movie or something." she said, slightly annoyed. "Mom, I think it's getting late and we should be heading back to campus." she said, picking up her plate and walking it over to the sink. "I have to move out tomorrow and then I'm helping Elliot move."

"Oh that sounds like fun." her mom said menacingly.

"Mom." Olivia said, exasperated. "You know I don't talk about sex with you."

"But if you did…" Serena trailed off, chuckling at her daughter's awkwardness. "Honey, I know you have sex; I'm not completely naïve, you know I do teach on the same campus you attend."

"Can we end this conversation now?" Olivia asked, drying her hands and grabbing her purse. Elliot watched as she joked with her mom_. Serena is amazing_, he thought, _and John is a man of few words; that's nice every once in a while_. "You ready, dear?" Olivia asked, placing her hand on the small of his back.

"If you are." he said. Olivia turned around and kissed her mother on each cheek and gave her a hug. Elliot held out his hand to shake Serena's as she pulled him into a hug.

"You're as good as family to me now." she whispered before pulling away. John shook Elliot's hand and Olivia pulled her father into a bear hug as they opened the front door and walked out to their car. Elliot had a goofy smile on his face as Olivia turned up the radio, which was playing some old Beatles' song. Serena accepted him as family. He was becoming more and more determined to marry Olivia Benson. She was the most gorgeous, intelligent, sweet, woman he had ever met and she had the perfect family.

"Elliot you all right?" she asked, snapping him out of his thoughts for the second time that evening.

"Yea, I'm doing great." he said, leaning back in the seat and closing his eyes.

-------------------------------------------------------------

"Elliot will you help me get this?" Olivia asked as she lifted her desk.

"Are you nuts?" he asked, running over to her. "Put that down, I'll get it." Olivia smiled as she dropped and went to grab a lighter box. It was nice to know that someone cared for her that much.

"Well, we almost have all my shit moved." she said as she stared at her empty room. "I guess it's on to Rutgers." Elliot groaned.

"I hate moving back home." Olivia looked up at him slowly as she dropped the last box into the back seat of her car. "What?" he asked, popping her trunk and placing her desk gingerly inside.

"Why don't you move in with my parents for the summer?"

"Olivia, I couldn't." he said, opening the car door. "I would feel like such an intruder, and that would feel so wrong. I can't imagine anyone's parents actually going for that, even yours."

"Elliot, come on. I mean, there's an extra bedroom, and my mom already loves you." Elliot sighed as he realized how happy that would make him and that Olivia had a point.

"Okay." he said, mock grudgingly.

"Hey Mom!" Olivia shouted as she walked into the seemingly empty house. "I've got some news for you!"

"I'm upstairs!" she shouted from the up the steps. Olivia dropped her bag on the floor and ran up the stairs.

"Hey," Olivia said, hugging her mother. "I offered Elliot our guest room for the summer; I hope that's okay, I know I should have asked first, but…"

"No that's great. I'm glad he feels comfortable enough to stay here. Is there any reason he's not going home?"

"He and his dad just don't see eye to eye." Olivia said in a tone that conveyed that was the end of the conversation.

"Where is Elliot?" Serena asked, folding the last of the clothes she had been working on and tossing the basket aside.

"He's getting some of our stuff from the car."

"Great, let me go make the extra bedroom for him." she said as she grabbed linens from a closet and ran down the steps to the extra room.

"Hey, can I get some help over here?" Elliot managed as Olivia ran over to him giggling.

"I'm sorry," she said, grabbing some boxes from his arms. "She said its fine. I told you she wouldn't mind."

"Your mom is nuts."

"Why? Because we'll probably have sex on the bed a few times?"

"Liv!" he said, disbelief filling his voice.

"Well, I know that's what you're thinking, and my mom doesn't care: she knows it's entirely natural."

"Must be nice to not be Catholic." he muttered, grabbing her hand and pulling her back out to the car. "Come on we need to finish unloading this stuff." They made two more trips before getting the rest of the furniture and clothing into the house.

"Elliot!" Serena said, scuffling over and throwing her arms around him. "So glad to see you, dear! I'm so excited to have you here this summer. What would you like for dinner?" _This is going to be the best summer ever_, Elliot thought as he and Olivia followed Serena to the kitchen.


	9. Something Special

It was early August, and Elliot and Olivia had spent a wonderful summer break together. They had done everything a new couple should spend their first summer doing: they had hiked, swam, picnicked, and made love on the beach. The desire Elliot had to marry Olivia had only been magnified by the long days and short, but well spent, nights. It was one week until classes started and they had both began to pack up to move back to campus.

"So what do you all have planned this final week of break?" Serena asked over breakfast the Monday morning of their last week of freedom.

"Well tonight Elliot has this romantic dinner planned at this new restaurant in the city that serves fondue."

"Well that sounds marvelous. I may just have to steal him from you." Serena said, laughing.

"And then the rest of the week we'll probably just relax a little bit."

"Sounds like a plan." Serena said, grabbing her plate and standing. "If you'll excuse me, I need to get to campus and get myself ready for the upcoming semester as well."

"Have a good day mom." she said as she watched her mother walk out the front door. "So what are we doing the rest of the day?"

"Well our dinner is at three, so we've got about four hours to do whatever you want." he said, a smirk slowly drawing across his face.

"Well, how about, I'm going to go take a shower, and we'll go from there." she said, seductively as she walked to the bathroom. Elliot quickly shoved the rest of his toast in his mouth and ran after her. She was already in the shower, her clothes thrown perfectly over a small stool in the corner, steam rising from the stall invitingly. Elliot quietly shut the door, as though Olivia wouldn't notice his arrival, and hastily took off his pants. He could hear Olivia chuckling from inside the shower. He pulled back the glass door and stepped in, carefully.

"I didn't ask for company." Olivia said, innocently as she grabbed the bar of soap.

"You are such a tease." Olivia began to caress Elliot's body with soap as he moaned. She chuckled mischievously. Elliot grabbed her and picked her up, turning her back to the wall of the shower. He slid inside her as they began to rock against one another in perfect unison. Elliot slid his tongue between her lips as their lips met and Olivia moaned and began to kiss back sensually. They came together as they both slid down the shower wall and sat in the mist of the water.

"That was interesting." Elliot said, kissing her neck. "Well you have fun in here now." he said, jumping out of the shower and grabbing a towel. Olivia laughed.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." she called as Elliot excited the bathroom. A few minutes later, Olivia had shut off the water and was grabbing her own towel. Elliot went to his room (the one he hadn't spent a single night in the entire summer) and grabbed a pair of black slacks and a black shirt with a red tie. He sprayed on some cologne and went to sit in the living room and wait for Olivia.

"Damn." he said after whistling. Olivia had walked into the living room wearing a halter top, knee length dress in red with matching strappy sandals and a golden necklace. "You look absolutely amazing." he said as she twirled around for him.

"You don't look bad yourself." she said, planting a kiss on his cheek. "That's a good look for you."

"You're chariot awaits," he said, motioning to the door. "Olivia walked to the door and looked out the windows.

"Is that for us?" she asked, staring at the limo parked in front of the house.

"You guessed it."

"This feels like prom." she said, laughing as he helped her into the back seat. "What merits such a special evening?"

"This is our last week to be together, at least this close, for a while. I just wanted it to be nice." he said, pouring her some champagne from a bottle. Olivia was shocked. This was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for her. She took the champagne from his hand.

"What are we toasting to?" Olivia asked as Elliot began to laugh.

"Drunken nights that actually lead to something good."

"I'll toast to that." she said, clinking her glass to his. "You are amazing." she said, kissing him on the neck. "I love you so much." she lay back on his shoulder and remained there the rest of the trip. The limo began to slow as it pulled up outside of the restaurant. The door opened from outside and a door man ushered them into the restaurant. Olivia's family was not poor by any means, but this was by far the fanciest restaurant she had ever been in: each individual table was lit by a small candle, waiters were dressed nicely with towels draped over their arms; it was like a fairy tale, just like in the movies.

They sat and waited a few minutes before their own waiter arrived. He explained to them how to eat fondue and what was going to happen in their eating experience. He took their order for cheese and meat fondue before turning away with their menus.

"This is so cool." Olivia said, taking Elliot's hand.

"I know." he said, fiddling with his napkin. He sat silent while Olivia sipped her water. "Olivia." he said, suddenly making her look up.

"What is it El?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. "Everything okay?"

"Yea, great." he said, quietly. "Olivia." he said again before pausing. "I love you. Oh my gosh." he muttered. "I know that we haven't really be together long, but I feel like we just connect so well. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else."

"I know," she said, taking his quivering hand. "I feel that way too, like I've known you my whole life."

"I know that we have so much more to learn about one another," he said as Olivia began to realize what was happening. "And I'd love to spend the rest of my life learning everything I can about you." he dropped on his knee and held out a black velvet box. He popped the box open to reveal a sparkling solitary diamond ring as he asked, "Olivia Benson, will you marry me?" Olivia's eyes began to well up, she couldn't remember the last time she had cried.

"Yes, Elliot! Of course I will." she said, jumping into his arms. She pressed her lips to his slowly as the people around them began to clap. The waiter walked up with a huge smile on his face.

"I'd like to present this bouquet to the future Mrs. Elliot Stabler." he said, setting the flowers along with their fondues on the table. "Congratulations. And good luck on a long and fabulous future together." Elliot and Olivia gazed into one another's eyes before kissing one more time.

"Congratulations, dear!" Serena said, throwing her arms around Olivia.

"How'd you know?" Olivia asked, holding out her hand to her mother.

"He asked us for permission weeks ago." Serena said, admiring the rock on Olivia's ring finger. "It's gorgeous Elliot! Welcome to the family!" she said, hugging him also. "We are so lucky that Olivia has found someone like you."

"Thanks, Serena."

"Oh no, dear, it's mom now." she said, kissing both of his cheeks. Elliot smiled at Serena. She was the best mother in law he could have asked for. "So when's the date?"

"Mom, we just got engaged two hours ago, I really am more concerned about the extra weight I'm carrying around." she said, waving her finger.

"I'm sorry dear, I'm just so excited for you."

"It's alright mom; I understand." she said, giving her mother one more hug. "Okay, well it's been a long and exciting night, I think its time we go to bed." she said, pulling Elliot along.

"Night children. Have a lovely evening." she said, picking up her magazine and continuing to read. Olivia and Elliot ran to her room and began to change into pajamas.

"I'm going to miss you so much this quarter." Elliot said as he settled into bed.

"I'm going to miss you too." she said, pulling out a book to read. "It's just not fair that we have one more year to be apart."

"I know, but we'll be together for good next summer. I can't wait to marry you." he said, kissing her before laying his head on the pillow. "Goodnight, Liv."

"Night El. Love you."

"You too." he said, she sat and read for a while until Elliot was asleep. She set her book down and ran downstairs, hoping that her mother was still up.

"Hey, I thought you were going to sleep." said Serena, lowering her magazine.

"I needed to ask you about something." she said, sitting on the floor at her mother's feet. "Thinking about getting married has got me thinking about dad. My real dad," she added for clarification. "I don't want him to walk me down the aisle or anything, John deserves that role, but I'd at least like him to be there."

"Olivia." her mom began before she was cut off.

"I know that I'm fine without him and that he doesn't deserve my thoughts but I just can't imagine myself getting married without him there."

"Olivia."

"Mom, please just tell me his name and I'll figure out everything else myself."

"Olivia, I can't."

"Please, for me."

"Dear, I really can't." Serena said with a sigh. "I don't know who your father is."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Olivia asked, slightly angry; how do you not know the father of your child?

"Olivia, I was raped." she said, quietly, tears showing in her eyes. "The reason I had you is because I was raped." Olivia sat staring at her mother for what seemed like hours.

"Hows come you never told me?"

"Liv, I didn't want you to feel like you were unwanted. I never regretted you. I regret the rape; I don't regret that I got you from it." Serena said, placing a hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Who knows what would have happened if John hadn't come into our lives! I was drinking a lot after I had you; I was confused and irresponsible. When John came along we were a mess; he helped to straighten me out and show me that you still needed a mother and that I needed to grow up." she said, smiling through her tears. "And I did, and I'm glad I did. I loved having you and raising you and teaching you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, despite the circumstances."

"Mom, I'm sorry I never knew." she said, hugging her mother tightly. "I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Thank you, for everything even though I know how hard it was for you." she said, letting a few small tears slip from her eyes.

"Now you need your rest." Serena said, through tears. "Don't let this bother you too much, it's water under the bridge." Olivia nodded, but it was all she would think about for a long time. She decided that this was something about her life that Elliot should never know. She decided at that moment to forget about what could have been and just focus on the future.


	10. December 31, 1989

_**Four Months Later: December 31, 1989**_

"Elliot this is so much fun." Olivia said, her fingers entwined through his. "I've never been to Times Square for New Year's before."

"Really?" he said, pulling her towards a bar off of the square. "Kathy and I used to come every year during high school." he held the door open for her.

"Thanks." she said, walking in behind him. "So what are we doing here?"

"Well, I always wait until right before the countdown to go outside, since it's so freaking cold. This bar always has a good celebration going on." It was eleven o'clock, only forty-five minutes to spare before going out into the crowd. They watched Dick Clark on the television, a timeless tradition for the American people. Olivia ordered a martini while Elliot simply got a beer. They sat and talked about their plans for the wedding: they had already created a guest list, found a caterer and a DJ, and set a date (August 14, 1990). Very few things were finalized, but at least the plans were underway. Nearly forty-five minutes later Elliot threw a twenty on the bar and stood to leave.

"Hi, could I have a sprite and a beer please?" Elliot heard a familiar voice down the bar. He turned to look: sure enough, it was Kathy.

"Everything all right?" Olivia asked when Elliot stopped suddenly.

"Kathy's here." he said with no emotion.

"You want to go say hi?" Olivia asked as Elliot nodded. "Kathy!" she shouted when Elliot appeared to make no move to go to her. Kathy turned and looked in their direction; Olivia grabbed Elliot's arm and pulled him towards Kathy.

"Elliot." Kathy said, shocked as she turned to walk away. _A little rude_, Olivia thought as she continued to follow her.

"Hi Kathy." Elliot said as they approached the table. He was looking around, anywhere but at Kathy.

"Hey Elliot." she said, nervously. Olivia elbowed Elliot.

"This is my fiancée---" Elliot said, looking at Kathy for the first time. "Oh my god." Kathy turned bright red.

"Elliot, don't this is not the time." she said, standing and revealing her rather round stomach.

"You didn't lose the baby!" he said, his eyes growing wider by the second. "You're still pregnant--- with my child." he rubbed his temples with his fingers. "I can't believe you lied to me."

"Elliot I couldn't help it; I didn't want to be with you, but I knew that you would let me go if I was pregnant. I'm so sorry."

"Listen, I've got things to do." he said, distractedly as he took Olivia's hand. "We'll be going now." he said, not looking at her anymore and running out of the bar. The patrons were counting down as Elliot haled a cab for himself and Olivia. When 1990 hit Olivia and Elliot were sitting silently in the back of a cab. Neither wanting to mention what just happened, but also wanting to know what was going to happen now.

"Elliot." Olivia said, placing a hand on his arm as he quickly pulled away.

"I don't want to talk about it." he said, staring out the window.

"Elliot, you want to be involved in that child's life. I know you do." Olivia said, closing her eyes and trying to figure out what in the hell was going to happen.

"Olivia I want to be with you." he said, quietly. Although she was right, he did want to be in that baby's life, and he didn't want it growing up in a single-parent home.

"Elliot, you don't have to choose just one. This problem holds an easy solution." Olivia said, simply as the cab pulled up to her dorm. "Listen, we'll talk about this later." she said, without saying goodbye or kissing Elliot. The cab drove off towards Rutgers and Elliot felt a tear slip from his eye; what was he willing to lose?


	11. November 10, 1995

_**Five Years Later: November 10, 1995**_

"Elliot, don't you care about how your daughter is doing in school?"

"I do Kathy!" he shouted into the phone. "But there is so much going on; John and I are busy."

"Elliot, it's at eight pm. Be there." she said before hanging up.

"Little lady getting on you."

"You better believe it." Elliot said, rubbing his temple. "I can't believe my life." he muttered, recalling a time only five years ago (which seems like centuries) that he was happy and with Olivia. "John, how can someone make such stupid decisions in their life?" he said, but tuning out when Munch began to go on about his failed marriages. Elliot could remember the day perfectly. He and Olivia had had their first fight ever over him and Kathy. Kathy calling the next day just made it worse.

_"Elliot, as the pregnancy went on I realized just how much you meant to me and how great of a father you'd be." _she'd said, sadly. _"But I didn't know how to talk to you after so long and I knew you'd hate me for what I did. Elliot, I can't do this alone and I can't think of anyone else that I want to do it with." she said with a sigh. "But I can understand if you despise me too much to do that. What I did to you was awful."_

"You all right there, partner?" Munch asked, snapping Elliot back to reality.

"Yea, yea, I'm good. What time is it?"

"Almost seven."

"Hey I need to get going, parent-teacher conferences."

"Sounds like fun." Munch said sarcastically. "Tell Kathy and Maureen I said hi."

"I will. See ya Munch." Elliot could once again not stop thinking about that tragic day five years ago, why had he been so stupid?

_"Olivia, I'm so sorry."_

_"Elliot, I understand." she said, even though he could hear the tears in her eyes. I'm the one making her cry, he thought. I can't believe I'm making the love of my life cry. "You have to do what you have to do, El, and she's having your baby. I can see where this is important. I will be fine, someday." she said before hanging up._

_"Olivia." he said to the dead air before slamming his phone down. _He had never spoken to Olivia again. Maybe if they hadn't been engaged or he wouldn't have left her for the reasons he had, they would still be friends. But that's not how things end, ever, that's just how life is. He pulled up outside of P.S. 213 and put the car in park. He checked his watch before opening his door, eight o'five. _So close_, he thought before running up the steps to the school. He didn't even know who Maureen's teacher was as he walked up the halls checking each room for his daughter and wife.

_I don't think she recognizes me_, Olivia thought as she introduced herself to Kathy Stabler. _Suppose she wouldn't_, she continued, _she had better things to worry about that night--- like ruining my life._

"Lovely to meet you Miss Benson, Maureen speaks so highly of you." Kathy said, shaking her hand. "I don't know where my husband could be, I'm sure he'll show up any minute. He's a detective, so his schedule is hectic." _I'm glad he accomplished his goal in life_, was all Olivia could think.

"Sorry I'm la---" Elliot said, then stopping when he realized who Maureen's teacher was. "You must be Maureen's teacher." he said, holding out his hand cordially. "I'm sorry I didn't catch your name." Olivia sighed, _way to cover El_, she thought.

"Miss Benson, Olivia Benson." she said, shaking his hand. "Nice to meet you Mr. Stabler."

"Please, call me Elliot." he said, taking a seat next to his wife. "So how is our little Maureen doing in kindergarten?"

"Well, actually she's amazingly advanced." Olivia said, pulling out some of Maureen's work to show to the Stablers. She hated to even think it, she should have been Mrs. Stabler. "See how well she draws within the lines and her letters are excellent." The conference went on, slowly. Elliot and Olivia acted awkward, while Kathy continued to be oblivious to the fact.

"It sounds like our little Maureen is doing excellently." Kathy said, standing and shaking Olivia's hand again. "Thank you again Olivia, she absolutely adores you. Ready dear?" she said, turning to Elliot.

"Uh yea. I just need to use the restroom real quick, you and Maur go on." he said, leading them out the door.

"Okay, meet you at the car." she shouted over her shoulder. When they had turned the corner, Elliot turned back to Olivia and backed her into her desk before pressing his lips roughly to hers.

"Elliot!" she said, pushing him back. "You are married now; you had your chance five years ago, and you fucked it up." she said, busying herself with some papers on her desk.

"Olivia, I am still in love with you. I made a bad choice, it was stupid and brash, and I have regretted every god damn day of the past five years."

"Elliot, I am not going to sleep with a married man."

"There are ways to change that." he said, taking off his ring and sliding it in his pocket. "See, problem solved.

"Elliot, that's not going to work and you know it." she said, holding back her giggles. "Either way I am ruining your marriage and Maureen's life, I can't do that."

"Okay, well they are probably wondering where I am." he said, putting his ring back on and kissing her on the cheek. "I guess I'll be seeing you around." he said, turning and walking towards the door as Olivia simply watched the love of her life walk out on her once again.


End file.
